It is almost time for you to "adult"... In a month this will be the day that I will be recovering from the night before.. an emotional graduation.. and recovering from being up all night from Project Graduation. I will be a mess, not only from not getting any sleep, but also from knowing that the years of you living under the same roof as our family is almost over. I will keep looking at all of the pictures I took and thinking about how beautiful you looked. I will post a zillion pictures and post about how proud I am of you. I will keep thinking about how I can't believe it actually happened but I will know it did from the crumpled up graduation gown laying on the couch and the hat with the tassle thrown close by. I will still be weepy from remembering the sight of you walking down an aisle in your cap and gown. I will catch my breath as I think of when they called your name and you mounted the stage to receive that piece of paper that claimed that you no longer have to attend public school. I will be full of memories of when you started kindergarten and your kindergarten graduation and the years that followed so quickly after. 13 years can surely fly by... and then here we are.
In a month, the realization will come crashing down that you will be responsible for using every bit of advice I have ever given you. All of the life lessons I have tried to teach you about God, about guys, about friends, about how you live your life.. suddenly I can no longer monitor how you are doing with those lessons. Suddenly it is time for you to decide what you will do with the lessons you have learned. Have you made mistakes? Definitely. Will you make more? Most likely. Some days I begin to panic as I wonder what I haven't taught you yet that I should have. What do you need to know that I haven't placed into your arsenal of knowledge? How much are you just going to have to learn on your own? Have I done my job? Have I done it well? Are you really ready to go out on your own? Without me? How can you survive? Visions of your little toddler hand slipping into mine as I guide you along flood my mind. All I can see is the top of your silky blonde hair bouncing and then you look up and flash me that huge smile that makes your blue eyes twinkle and lights up your whole face and I feel joy and peace. I have always held your hand and I will continue to even as you leave, even if not physically. Yes, you have made mistakes and so have I and yet here we are and we are just fine and we will continue to be. You are no longer my little girl. You are my grown up daughter that is about to make her way in this big world. You are growing up. This is how it is supposed to happen. So, my girl, take experiences and grow from them. Never let anything be for nothing. Your time has come to fly... I am so completely proud of you and the woman you are growing into and I love you more than you can even comprehend...
